Letting someone else take the reigns is hard. You don’t realize how much of an opinion you have about everything. And how often people ask you your opinion. It was going well for a moment. It does feel very very good to let yourself be filled with whatever anyone else wants.
But I couldn’t get over the gnawing opinions in my head. And I caved. I became very depressed, and didn’t even realize how it — whats the word… uh, was because of my opinions.
Fuck, words are really hard today.
There’s become two sides of me now. One is the bimbo, the dummy who is coming out more and more as I cam, party, and train. I like her, shes fun and feels good. But I sometimes regret what I do. Things I need to push out of my mind, I know.
None of this writing makes sense looking back at it. Which is good I guess. I just need to feel happier about it.
Less opinionated. Giggle more. Yes.